Today's shift wasn't as long as I thought it would be. I got to ride my bike and come home about 7:00pm. Steven calls and informs me one of his friends is here because he's helping us move. There I was, sticky and sweaty, and I have to meet a new person. Yay. I expressed my discontent to Steven who calmly replies, "He doesn't care." :- |
*I* care. Sheesh. When you have as shaky a self esteem as I do, your first meeting with person (i.e. that first impression) is critical. But I'm married to someone who walks through life, blissfully uncaring what anyone thinks of him. He can say or do whatever he wants without fearing reprecussion.
Whereas I analyse every last word to make sure I don't step over the line. I guess it's a good thing, I can help him polish his rough edges and he can make me a whole lot braver. In truth I envy him his courage and his self esteem. One day I hope to be there.
But there are times, like tonight, where we speak completely different languages. Not that I'm complaining - I love my husband more than words can say. And I know I'm no picnic either. He gets triple bonus points for putting up with me. He's a gamer, he can appreciate this LOL
So the friend is gone and I can come out from hiding. Did I win this battle, or lose it? I'm not certain.
Exercise - 30 mins stationary bike.
4 comments:
lol...I completely understand! Yesterday, friends just "dropped in" as I was cleaning the house, I didnt even shower yet..I was so embarassed! Your hubby is great though..did you read what he had to say about this??
Whereas I analyse every last word to make sure I don't step over the line... In truth I envy him his courage and his self esteem. One day I hope to be there.
I used to be a lot like you, and somewhere in my forties, I started being more like Steven. To a great extent, I really don't care what people might think anymore. There's still a little bit of apprehension, but not much. I hope you get there.
Hans
I didn't even know he had written a new entry. See a trend here??? LOL Yeah I hope one day to get to that like me or leave me attitude, right now - it ain't happenin. But thanks for the comments :)
You know I wish I can be as carefree as your husband, but I just can't. I worry about every single thing! But I'm caring less every day now because a real person would see what you are in the inside.
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