Today I wrestle with a difficult decision. As many of you know, I'm an aspiring writer. I "aspire" to write because I don't have the nerve to pursue getting published, especially because my passion is writing screenplays. To sell a screenplay you have to network, then you have to go pitch yourself in meetings with Hollywood executives. To be honest with you, the idea scares me silly. I don't have enough self confidence to sell myself, no matter how much confidence I have in my writing ability.
Last year I joined an online screenwriting community called Done Deal. In the last (almost) two years I've interacted with a lot of interesting people, for good or ill, and received a lot of help. The one thing most of them have ever seen is a photo of me. They can be a little... harsh at times when it comes to cutting each other to the quick, and I just felt safer hiding behind what they thought I was. There I'm very outspoken, and I'll go head to head with many of them on my very strong opinions, and I don't know if I would have done that had they known who I really was. Because I spend my whole life hiding behind who I think the world judges me to be.
Anyway, I haven't posted there much since I began this lifestyle change because I'm coming to terms with someone they don't even know exists. I'll still browse the boards occasionally, and post intermittantly, but I'm detatching myself from it, knowing the day will come that I'll have to come clean with my "big, dark secret".
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Usually those who cut another person the fastest seem to have the lowest self esteem that they have to cut others in order to feel better about themselves. I learned this from living with my ex for 18 years. I wish you the best and again, I'm so proud you made the editors choices ... wish you were #1 instead of me!
Monica
First of all, I think that your journal is wonderful. It sucks that so much emphasis is put on physical appearance when what truly matters is what is inside. I know that sounds cliche, but I believe that once you sift through all the surface-only lookers and find those who will look at who you are as a person, you will be at peace. My philosophy is that anyone who judges someone solely on looks is not worthy of my time or worry. Think of it as their loss. Believe it is their loss.
You are a beautiful woman, inside and out, please don't be ashamed of how you look, I know this is not easy, i've been there. You have a wonderful husband, and great kids by your side..who needs judgemental people? You are doing a great job..I am proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself!
You are a wonderful person and now all people care about are looks. You have a wonderful husband who cares very much about you. I think you should publish your novels! Try FirstBooks, that is where I'm publishing.
Post a Comment