Earlier in the week I received a letter from the Journal Editors, saying that this journal was being considered to be featured. At the time it took me by surprise. I don't feel this journal is saying anything important enough or entertaining enough to be featured. This is just basically my thoughts and my first stumbling, wobbly steps on a new diet.
It made me reflect on most of my writing these days. I've been stalled on page 22 of my romantic comedy screenplay for more than a month. I've got it all mapped out, but for some reason I cannot jump my head into gear and churn out any pages.
It's dawned on me that it's because I don't feel the piece is funny enough. Just like this journal, which is utilitarian at best. I'm normally very quirky and very funny, but it's just not coming across in anything I'm writing. It's frustrating.
Then I realized, I just haven't felt all that funny lately. If you haven't read the website that corresponds with what I'm doing here, then you probably aren't aware but my 43 year old ex husband (whom I was still very close friends with) passed away Sept. 13 of a massive heart attack. It was quite a shock.
My boys, 13 and 11, have been the major reason I started getting real about my weight. I lost my own dad when I was 11 and sinceI know how badly life can suck without one parent, I cannot doom them to being orphaned. Which is exactly the road I was walking by eating myself to death.
So mix that stark terror of my own mortality to the overwhelming grief of losing my best friend of 17 years, and you have a pretty non-funny person.
I know that one day the humor will return. And I know Dan loved to laugh and wouldn't be too happy with me if he knew how hard I was taking his passing. He didn't look at death that way at all. He wasn't afraid to die. He believed in God and Heaven and knew one day he'd be with our other son who predeceased him.
I just don't know how to find the humor. He's woven so tightly into all our hearts that each new day brings another opportunity to remember how wonderful it was to know someone like him.
3 comments:
I can see why your journal is being considered. I'm thinking they are going to feature weight loss journals for the New Year, what do you think?
Monica
That makes total sense. And if they do decide to use mine maybe it will help others as they try to make a new lifestyle for the new year. That would be cool.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, too. Laughter is the best medicine, and you provide the fun I keep missing.
Hi there. I hit on your journal by accident and liked it so much that I backed it up to read it from day one. We have a lot in common, from the weight down to the writing. I have one finished script and three with mega outline notes. About your comedy-romance....in my writing class ( I live in Ca. and have taken several screenplay writing classes ) they always tell you that comedy is sometimes the hardest script to put out. And that's probably because comedy is a personal thing.Something I might think is funny would be considered not so funny by another. My characters in my stories "talk" to me, not at first, but as their personalities come out.They help my story develop. You might be right, that you're not quite ready to write funny stuff again, but maybe your characters are trying to tell you that it should be just a plain romance. I find your journal very inspiring and would encourage you to keep hardcopy from day one, including pix and other tidbits, because I think this would make an even better BOOK when you hit your goal and are boarding that plane to NYC.
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