When it rains it pours. I got an email from the AOL Journals editor who says my journal will be featured in their weekly pics as of Friday, to run for six days. I'm pretty excited, and kinda scared too. This means there's no turning back. I can't just fade quietly back in the woodwork and disappear from the canvas. This is the real deal, with the whole world watching.
I'm a little nervous, but I'm also confident that I'm still very much in control of my weight right now. I'm eating right, I'm exercising, all I have to do now is watch the progress and be patient. That second thing is the hardest for me.
But what I hope more than anything is that in the end my life will mean something. I'm still struggling through my grief over losing my ex husband in September, my kids and I are facing a real uphill battle right now just trying to get through the days without totally falling apart. The "firsts" are always the worst, and this will be the first Christmas since 1987 I won't have Daniel. If I would allow it, it would hurt me so much I don't think I would be able to breathe. So I've been putting it aside, throwing myself instead into this journal, exercise and weight loss. I'm in motion, and determined to stay that way.
And I always picture Dan right there beside me, telling me I can do it. Just one more minute on the bike when my legs feel like they're going to fall off. Just one more leg lift, or one more rep with the handweights. I just have to believe in me as much as he always did. He knew I could do it, now I just have to know that for myself.
We all are born, and we all die. It's what we do in the meantime that counts most. And I'm going to conquer this battle, the right way, in the right time and for the right reasons.
Exercise - 15mins stationary bike, 32 mins Pilates routine
Dec. Calories Spent: 25,325 = projected weight loss 7.24lbs
3 comments:
Ginger,
I am so very proud of you for strength to stay on your program! You go girl!!! It will be fun to keep up with your progress! I too am on a program so we can encourage each other.
It was a shock to read about Dan's death. I am so sorry. My brother died at 46 with a heart attack. My entire family died of heart attacks and that is why I have to fight the weight all the time. :(
I am praying for you and will be your cheerleader!
Jeannie :)
I know how hard it is during the Holidays, dealing with a loss..just know that he is with you and your children, always. I hope you have a great Christmas...you are a very special person, Ginger!
Thanks Karie and Jeannie for your support! I couldn't do it without ya. :) Merry Christmas!
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