On my walk last week as I rounded the longer 1.5 mile stretch, the aroma from the nearby restaurant drifted over to me and left me both esctatic and kinda angry. Here I am walking along trying to walk off all the damage I've already done to my body, and that smell had me ready to grab a knife and fork. I kinda beat myself up for a moment thinking how wrong it was for me to put so much pleasure on food.
As I reflected on this, I actually stopped to wonder if maybe, for the first time ever, if I ever really enjoyed food before. I know I used it to stuff emotions, and pretty much scarfed it like I was never going to eat again, but did I enjoy it? Was it some blind binging while I was doing other things, like watching TV or surfing the web? Was it eating so fast and so much that I didn't even know what the food tasted like until the second helping? Or third? Yes, there were thirds.
What I've learned since I began this Journey is that I can enjoy food still. I'm not on a diet, I'm finally eating just what my body needs in order to function, as well as lose weight. I can eat whatever I want, as long as I keep the right portions and don't overload on any one food group. And the better I eat, the more I enjoy it.
Rather than eating a big ol' chicken fried steak with baked potatoes and cream gravy, with buttered biscuits and cobbler a la mode for dessert, I can eat a Cajun grilled salmon or catfish fillet with steamed veggies, a big ol' nekkid salad, a roll with a smidge of butter and just a bite (or three) of said cobbler. And the best part of all... not only do I enjoy the taste of the food but I really enjoy the feeling of being in control of my eating. I enjoy knowing I've done something good for my body.
Let's face it. Those binges come at a huge emotional price, that usually must be paid with even more binging. Food is not my enemy, and I can still enjoy it. I just have to learn to enjoy it for what it is, rather than what I've always used it for. Eat slow, enjoy the taste and most of all enjoy the feeling at the end of it that I didn't undo the precious foundation I have set for myself each day of this Journey.
Steps: 12,056 & Pilates
6 comments:
I began to eat out of frustration. Being married to a musician is very interesting but they are gone at night (after I've worked all day). Not there to comfort you & talk after a long, hard day. Love my musician but hate the hours ... so I would eat. Taking it off at 52 is hard. I keep hitting plateaus more quickly than when I was young. BUT... I'm getting there! I've lost 17 pounds! You are my inspiration Ginger!
Go girl! The liberating power I've found by controlling my eating is so awesome! I know just where you're coming from!
I'm mid-thirties and I feel that it's "now or never" time. I'm down 32lbs. since last August and no longer desire to sit at my desk and consume a WHOLE bag of heath toffee bars!!! LOL! Keep it up! You've got a fan in me!
Julie
I personally LOVE food...love the smell...love the taste...love to cook it....I just love food!!!......thats why I'm FAT!!! ..................Deanna
I love food too... I know that I overeat but thats my main problem... If I could eat what I like and be able to stop when satisfied I could lose weight....
chicken fried steak with baked potatoes and cream gravy, with buttered biscuits and cobbler a la mode for dessert
What if thats what you actually want? You said you can eat what you want in portions and still lose weight.. What If I ate the food above in the right serving sizes could I still lose weight?
This is an awesome journal and this entry in particular is so insightful and inspiring. Anyone who's had long term weight control has to learn exactly what you've stated here. You have to learn to thrive on having power over food, knowing you have control over what you put in your body. You need to crave THAT more than the food itself. I'm so glad I've found you!
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