This journey has been very insightful. The more I dig down to deal with issues, the more I uncover. I never realized how much was buried under all this weight. But I guess it'd have to be a lot considering I it took over two hundred pounds to hide it all.
This time it had to do with the episode with Steven. I did an entry on my website
and found out something that had never ever occured to me. What I have always expected Steven to do is what I already did in my last relationship. I'm scared spitless of Karma.
It's just really interesting. You start writing and pretty soon you're digging things out of places you'd forgotten you put them. And then once it's out there, you understand it with complete clarity. Who knew? The cool byproduct is that I get so many emails from others who read what I go through and they can relate. I really thought my post about Steven was ultimately inappropriate, and that I would isolate the people who come here. No one wants to follow the adventures of a clueless loser, which is what I felt like after dawn broke and I realized what I had written.
But instead I get unlimited support and a wealth of understanding - but most important, I get acceptance for who I am, no matter how imperfect I am. It really blows my mind. So thank you again.
Bachelorette Wednesday - I'm so in it for Matt now. If she was looking for love, it's right with our Texas boy.
Oh, and I didn't do any exercises yet today. I blew off the walk, and I need to get my butt on that bike. I'm down but not out.