Saturday, February 7, 2004

What Gives Me the Right

When I started this journal I kept expecting someone to call me out on being a big phoney.  How can I be expected to be taken seriously when my weight problem is still so obviously out of control?

Fortunately that did not come until today, when I'm fully aware of exactly who I am and what I have to offer right now, not just when I get down to goal weight.

In amidst the dozens of supportive emails, I got an email from someone who said, "what makes you think you're one to talk to about weight..you look like you're at least 200 pounds over..don't bullshit people."

So I'm going to address that here. 

I am the face of obesity in America.  When you look at me, you see hundreds of thousands of others who are in exactly the same boat.  And they're the ones I speak to most when I come here.  They're the ones who see my struggle, my ups and my downs, and it makes it okay for them to try too.

I've already ripped away every conceivable barrier between me and the world to let them know how human we all are, even if we're hidden under layers of protective fat.

And I've been extremely honest along the way.  It's not my nature to lie or mislead people.  What you see with me is quite literally what you get.  And I'm not going to earn the right to have an opinion only when I get to goal weight. 

I'm in the battle zone every day.  I'm living this and that's what gives me the right to talk about it.

How people receive it, that's another story altogether.

Fortunately 99% of my emails have been positive.  This is the very first one that had anything negative to say.  And I'm glad it came now instead of three months ago when I started this journal. 

Because as of today, the opinions of others are not the requirement for me to continue - or share - my Journey. 

Thanks to all the people writing me wonderful letters of support and encouragement.  And thanks to everyone who says that I encourage them, even though I'm not through with my own Journey yet.  That's what inspires ME and keeps me going.  :)

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is my first time to know about you -- more power to you. You go, girl.

Anonymous said...

Well, It is wonderful that you get so many positive letters. I know how you feel about a negitive one. But, I just remember those are people who don't know and don't understand. They have no business being here. My philosophy has always been if you don't like the way I look, then don't look at me. I hate the feeling of people saying...she is fat...so give her an extra portion..as if only "fat" people eat alot...
anyhow..I know your battle zone..and You are not alone...
Great Job!!!!

Anonymous said...

Dear Duckebride, I am so sorry that you had to run into a rude clod like that. Shame on that person. I am over weight too! I am at least 90 to 100 lbs over weight. God forgive those insensitive people. I am older and have osteoarthritus in my knees and hips. But I am not going to give up yet. I got a letter from Richard Simmons telling me I am worth it. And YOU are TOO. Just keep on keeping on. Good Luck to you and God Bless,
Mysterylady1127

Anonymous said...

Congrats on all of your accomplishments. I have been dieting since June 2003. I know what you mean when you call it a battle zone. I started at 270lbs and am down to 198lbs. So you hang in there girl. People who have low self asteem feel the need to bash on others who are having great accomplishments. Dont worry about them and just keep working at it you'll get there. Sincerely Wigglesue

Anonymous said...

I read your "A Journey to Me" and I think you are wonderful. I get more inspiration and encouragement from someone on the same journey as me. You just keep going and so will I. Was 236 and now 219, I just watch what I eat and don't deny myself. Like you I just make better choices

Anonymous said...

You give of yourself to others , as a wife, mother, and a writer.You are now giving of yourself to you !
This is the "youth of your life" live it ! I waited much too long to begin " my journey ."
1 wasted many precious past years, although those times have past ,there is a future I look ahead to and a present I live today.You inspired me.Thank you !
I have been on this "journey" many times .I have faultered and lost my way but I begin anew today. Jeannies216

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on your weight loss!! I'm so jealous!! How did you do it? I've tried everything.... walking, joining a gym, watching fat, watching calories, and I'm currently on Atkin's... but nothing seems to work. I'm getting married in 6 months and I really want to lose weight quickly before my dress alterations! So what's your secret?

-Heather-
Shiseido309@aol.com

Anonymous said...

By the way... I just looked at your wedding website... my wedding is August 22nd of this year. Crazy!!!!!!!! =)

-Heather-
Shiseido309@aol.com

Anonymous said...

Part 3: SO.. I hope you didn't even skip ONE beat when you read that rude letter. A journal is a personal thing...full of experience and opinions. You decided to share yours to reach out and help others and gain support from those like you. Who said you were trying to be the weight loss authority? I never got that impression.

Anonymous said...

Part 4: What I got was a smile and a feeling of joy that a very talented, beautiful, and strong woman was willing to step out on a limb and share her inner most thoughts, experiences, and struggles. And I am just one out of many who you have inspired. THANK YOU SO MUCH!! And I will keep reading. :) Bless your heart and your life.

Anonymous said...

Part 2: They never could be farther from the truth. I see you have a wonderful, supportive husband..and I do, too. My hubby married me when I weighed 355lbs. And now I am at 250lbs. And we are still in love..he is still my biggest fan and has so much unconditional love.

Anonymous said...

Part 1: I felt I had to speak up in this situation cuz I feel so PO'd! The person who has criticized has the right to express his or her opinion. I can picture this person is the type of person that "WE" have struggled with all of our lives.

Anonymous said...

Part 1b: You know the type..the ones who say "If you REALLY want to lose weight bad enough, you would just do it," " just STOP EATING!" " You will NEVER find a husband if you don't lose weight" "You'll NEVER get a date!"....anything to bring us down. They JUST DON'T GET

Anonymous said...

WoW!!!! Keep up the good work on loosing your weight. You inspir me to loose my own weight. You are wonderful person to do this journal.....Rose

Anonymous said...

Ginger,
I'm glad you didn't get that comment earlier too. I know you and I are both stronger women for the battles we face DAILY. Keep up your good work, your opinions are as valueable now as they are if you were half your size.

Hugs,
Monica

Anonymous said...

Hi,
Congrats on your weight loss!! I hope you were able to at least somewhat ignore that stupid person who wrote that to you, as they must not know how it feels to be overweight. You DO know what you are talking about because you have lived it and experienced it first hand. I am 100lbs overweight and know darn well a thin person could never know what it feels like no matter how much we tried to explain it to them. YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON AND AN INSPIRATION!!!

Anonymous said...

Duckebride:
Go for the gold!!! I have dieted for years and the only way I ever lose weight is due to stress. I give you lots of credit for not only trying, doing, but sharing. You are an inspiration to all. It is like any other useful program, one day at a time and one step at a time. Keep up the good work.
Robin

Anonymous said...

Keep goin girlfriend...you are inspiring many to start their own journey ... and you do not have to defend yourself to ANYONE !!! send that poor, lost ,negative soul your blessings and block his or her ugly emails..

Anonymous said...

I think you are so inspiring. I have my own weight journey. That is the funny part. It does not matter if you have 5, 10, 50, 150 lbs to lose, it is ALL struggle or we would be there. I think you are great. I hope O Magazine has the good sense to feature you. You could help a lot of people. Whether O Magazine sees it now or not, I expect you will help a lot of people. You have helped ME today.

Anonymous said...

I applaud your thinking about weight loss. three months is a long time to think however. What are you actually doing? The journal is a definite and positive step. The action of choosing a life plan, actually begins with a step doesn't it? You know everything that will get you to any goal in your life begins with action and activity and involvement.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on your wins! You seem to have a great attitude and motivation to meet your goals. Keep winning!