Quite honestly I was proud of him for doing it, even though I suspected he could get pretty beat up for it. Unfortunately most of Steven's reponses tend to come when he admits a goofup, and they are very stern. Again it comes back to the price of opening up your life to the world. I guess I'm more afraid that he's going to find his journal to be a place he goes to get consistantly beat up rather than built up and he will abandon the effort entirely. Which I think would be a sad thing. Especially since he's using his journal mostly to deal with the issues he needs to change, and not the day to day grind like I do.
I appreciate the support I get from this journal and all the people who have let me into their lives. When I fall down, I get support. In fact there were times I admitted my own goofups here and I knew for sure I was going to get beat down myself, only to hear positive reinforcement that encouraged me to pick myself up and brush myself off and try again. The first negative comment I did get was months into it, after I was over the initial fear of being condemned or judged or ridiculed - and I'm so glad that's the way it worked out. Otherwise I too might have abandoned this journal and ultimately abandoned the weight loss journey altogether.
I'm not saying you can't speak your mind in regards to events that are posted here. That would also defeat the purpose of these journals as accountability tools. I guess what I'd like to see more of is the understanding you've extended to me here be given to Steven as well, and to realize it's far easier to sit in judgment of someone else's actions than it is to muster the courage to post your failings to the world.
And I believe that anyone who earnestly wants to change should be given the room to grow (and fall) with encouragement and support. Otherwise love is conditional and not really love at all. That's the kind of love I'm attempting to build with Steven. A love that bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. A love that never ends.
2 comments:
If you both make it through all of this, you'll be the stronger for it! (What's the saying, "if it doesn't kill you it,ll only make you stronger!") The road now is, surprise, leading to Steven! Perspective: he, your ardent supporter, is now the weak link, is now in for repairs! Now that the dust has somewhat settled, the call is: clemency, forgiveness as we sort it all out and he makes a fresh, clean new life and does the "work" necessary to be worthy of [you] the relationship.
Dear Dukebride....You are honest and inspirational. I admire your effort and the fact that you are sharing your journey with me. Thank you so much!! DramaQ8054
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