It was a good day. I had most of it off, which was nice. I have decided to start honoring a Sabbath day. Nothing formal really I was just reading through the Old Testament and I realized if this pattern is good enough for God, it's good enough for me. Take one day and just recharge. One day off of exercise, one day off of work, one day off of anything that takes me away from renewing myself and getting better connected with my family.
Church was great. They really honored the holiday and what it means to be an American. A color guard came out from Dyess AFB and displayed the flag, we sang our National Anthem and pledged our Allegiance to the flag, one nation Under God (said with particular emphasis) and honored our military past and present for their sacrifices for our freedom. It just felt right. I went to one church that let the first anniversary of 9/11 go by without even acknowledging the fact and I really felt spiritually robbed of what I needed personally to heal. 9/11 was particularly hard on me, don't ask me why. I had no personal connection to anyone in the planes or in the WTC or the Pentagon. But it just got to me, wounded me so deeply, something forever changed. I needed my spiritual leader to address it and he didn't.
I know this minister will not do that. I have finally found my home.
The picnic was cool. I think I held it together. I ate "naughty" food but I only ate small portions, which I feel really good about. And I ate slow so I ate less, and I feel really good about that.
I realized though I still have a long way to go to overcome my acute social phobias. I don't know why I shut down around people I don't know. Poor Steven only got a few hours sleep tonight because he really wanted to go. Me, I was scared spitless if he didn't go. My kids were counting on me taking them regardless. I just can't even imagine doing that on my own yet.
We'll get into that more this week. There's something underlying going on and I have to dig down and get it outta there. Scaple please. (or however you spell it).
Anyway I'm going to head to bed. No totals tonight. Back on program tomorrow.
3 comments:
Hmmm...I have acute social phobias that sometimes extend to people I do know. I definitely see a pattern here. :) But think of all the good things you have accomplished. You obviously met your (at the time) future husband and got married. To me that seems huge. :)
--Jacqueline
HI THERE..I HAVE BEEN READING YOUR SITE AND REALLY ENJOY READING IT ....IT HAS INSPIRED ME TO START MY OWN SITE...HOPE WE CAN BECOME FRIENDS... I NEED ALL THE ENCOURAGEMENT THAT I CAN GET ON MY JOURNEY...
THANKS ... DOLLBABYS CRY
I LOVE WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT DIGGING THE SKINNY CHICK OUT BEFORE THE FAT GIRL SWALLOWS HER THATS EXACTALLY HOW I FEEL... THANKS
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