Saturday, May 22, 2004

Just Checking In

Tonight will have to be a short one I have a ton of work tonight.  I might not even get that bicycling in, just depends on when I get done.  I decided to let Sunday be my exercise free day, but we'll see.  It may have to be Saturdays. 

I'm totally at a loss for a decent topic for tonight.  I think it's because I'm just letting myself get distracted tonight.  Got tons of stuff to do and no real inclination to do it.  Last night I had a setback where I lost about five and half hours worth of work which tightens my deadline for tomorrow.  So I really have to hustle tonight to make up for it.  It's made me so reluctant to even get started.  Just the thought gives me a headache.

But... it's not going to get any easier until I get started.  As always the first push to accomplish anything is always the hardest.  That's why I think I really haven't gone off the wagon.  I know how hard it would be to get back on it.  So I may sometimes be hanging off that wagon by one foot, but I manage to pull myself back on.

I don't think that makes me any better than anyone else... just lazier.  I don't want start over. 

But you know what?  Quitting isn't even an issue anymore.  In fact, in this last week this process has become my way of life.  I am setting up habits that I will carry on long after I hit goal weight.  I don't think of this as a temporary change anymore. 

Changing the focus onto every day rather than the long term goals (even weekly ones) has really made the difference.  I don't know when that changed, I used to have that outlook in the beginning.  And I had more success in the beginning too.  So it took me a while but I put two and two together and finally didn't come up with a fraction.

DAILY AFFIRMATION: I am a success today.

Calories: 1807 / 25%
Sodium: 3096mg
Calcium: 1081mg
Water: 72oz
Exercise: None scheduled.

RED means I didn't meet goal
* Projected

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