Saturday, May 1, 2004

The Dreaded "P" Word

Well it's official.  I've plateaued.  Despite my week on program and getting the exercise in, I didn't lose but a few ounces.  I'm still stuck at 289.

At first I was really annoyed.  I demanded that Steven take me to the nearest Dairy Queen.  They've been advertising a new hamburger I've wanted to try, but because it has meat, cheese, bacon and mayo I've resisted.  I've also resisted the new spicy chicken sandwich at BK because the sodium is off the charts at 2200mg.  But today, my resistance was turned off.  I wanted to binge and I wanted to forget that I was trying to be so good when I wasn't seeing any result from my steadfastness.

It lasted for a few minutes, then I headed us off at the pass and went to H.E.B instead.  It's our local supermarket.  They had Lean Cuisines on for 5 for $10 so I stocked up on $30 worth.  It's time to break through this plateau once and for all.  So that means a week of 1200 calorie days, starting tomorrow.  I did splurge on some chinese food (no buffet this time).  I wanted those frosted sugar cookies too, until I read the nutrition facts.  Even though I'm frustrated, I still cannot get past a bad nutritional choice anymore, so I guess I've turned the corner on that.  The cookies were like 170 calories for ONE cookie.  7 grams of fat for ONE cookie.  135mg of sodium for ONE cookie.  Needless to say I didn't buy the cookies.

So even though I had my moments of weaknesses, I fought them.  I even got to the root at why I was so frustrated.  Remember my telling you that I never want to fall on my face in front of anyone?  That's what I feel like I'm doing here.  I'm no longer excelling.  I'm average.  I'm no longer "good enough".  I'm failing.  And I hate that. 

I can't look at things this way, it's counterproductive.  Instead I can focus on the positives - I lost another inch around my waist which FINALLY puts me at size 26.  Thank you Pilates.

Even though I wanted to go completely off program, I still found a way to be good.  I didn't give in to the emotional overeater.  I wanted to.  Boy did I want to.  But I kept her at bay and did what I could to become even MORE dedicated to the process. 

Toward that end, here are my goals. I'm going to go on the 1200 calorie diet as of tomorrow.  I'm not going to have any exercise goals this week, although I do plan to walk and include Pilates into my regime.  There's just not going to be pressure to do it.  My very first thought when I stepped off that scale was I'm not going to exercise at all.  When I don't exercise I seem to lose more weight.  But I'm not going to buy into that, I know I've got to do this to sculpt my body as I lose the weight.

Someone wrote in my comments once that sometimes it takes some catching up for your body and all the hard work you do will eventually show results.  I sure hope that's true.  My body owes me for 4 weeks of no loss. 

I will do this.  I will excell again.  I will NOT fall on my face.  I will. Not. Fail.

I'm also going to start a new picture goal.  On the first of every month I will take a photo in my new "workout" gear.  It's a tank top and shorts, so it won't be pretty for a while... but I'm convinced it will show more of a difference because I won't be all hidden with clothes.

This is another area of dealing with fear.  I'm petrified but I'm gonna feel the fear and do it anyway.

Which reminds me.  I have a book to order.

Calories: 1985 / 28%
Sodium: 4760mg (darn Chinese food)
Calcium: 1162mg
Water: 96oz
Exercise: None.

 

 

9 comments:

sjburgess51 said...

http://www.larrynorth.com/
 Hi Gin,
 You will find some great information on this website.  He understands "emotional eating" and has amazing insight.  Hope it's of help!

ivorygrace7 said...

Getting past plateaus is sooo hard, but your determination is really motivating.  Every time, I've lost a lot of weight I plateaued as I approached 200, and then I went *backwards*.  Not this time.  I'm in it for the long haul!  And the journal helps so much...how could I go week after week and lose nothing, lol!  I would have to figure it out...the world is watching, lol!

Good luck!  And I'm proud of you!  I definitely like the idea of wearing tight clothes for the photos...I can tell you've lost weight by your face and your looser clothes!  :)  But I think it would be good for you to see the *total* picture!

--Jacqueline

rogueapbt said...

Wow, your face looks so different from just the last set. The scale may not be telling, but the pictures do! I think you're doing great! :)

Cheryl

drgnflyjwls said...

I still think you're looking better Gin!  I know it's hard to see that yourself, but it's true.  Keep going!  Your fans are cheering you on!!  Hear that??

Yay,yay,yay YAY Gin!  Go Ginger! Go Ginger!  Goooo GINGER!!!!! ;)

Julie

chillininjville said...

Hi Ginger. THANKS for leaving the really nice comment in my journal! Sounds like you are doing really well. Congrats on resisting the foods that you want. I know thats a rough one for me. I want the ice cream and the junk I use to eat....lol I hope you get past your plateau. The 1200 calorie diet should help you past it. Good luck to you!!

journey2sarah said...

Oh yeah definitely the face is showing a major improvement.  [Me: Last night with dreamboat!; See him again Tuesday!!!!!!!!]  

Ginger your battleground has changed to time.  Woman, know your enemy.  If you turn back you take not one step forward but two steps back which leaves you three steps from where you are just to stay even.  I call this reverse synergy.  Is it worth it to triple your suffering for a momentary pleasure?  Not to mention what it would do to your mindset and your feelings of self actualization/esteem?  

I believe the play thingy is kind of working into this... you needed to avoid pie if only to avoid the pattern of destructive eating.  First you need to identify how destructive eating sugar is.  It is your drug of choice.  Think about this:  an alcoholic perpetuates his problem by drinking.  Alcohol and sugar act about the same way on the body.  Each also will enslave you to it.  The refined flour breading in the sandwiches you are craving is the same as adding sugar (according to how your body metabolizes refined flour).  Ever see how fast a new diabetic can drop weight?  Please consider wising up on this.  Weight and the insulin response are a pair.  Learn a simple but highly effective technique:  the substitution method.  Substitute substitute substitute --good for destructive.  Something comparable but "legal."  

perryb178 said...

I completely understand.  I myself have been on a long standing plataeu.  But I have to say I am finding it ever more difficult to dress myself because my clothes "just keep getting bigger"!  I don't really know why seeing as I have'nt lost anymore weight in a long while now.  I have been digging out  things that were bought long ago with good intentions and they fit!  YAY!!!  I too have been getting anxious about dropping more weight.  Especially when I've had a particularly "good eating" day and was active and I think definitely tomorrow morning I'll be down at least a pound or two, but then it dosen't happen.  But this time there is no going back, no giving up.  I will do this.  You may have not lost anything recently, but your pictures show great improvement.  Maybe our bodies are just taking time to adjust, holding water where fat used to be, or something!  Let us sharpen our determination, and just try a little harder, without "going overboard" which has only caused us to "crash and burn" in the past.  As you have mentioned before about pampering ourselves.  We have to stop focusing on deprevation and start thinking of healthy eating and exercising as loving ourselves.   DB

sjburgess51 said...

Hi Gin,
 I just read Sarah's input and I have to say I do agree with her about the sugar and fast food, easy food thing.  I realize that I come from a different time (I'm 52)so I cook most of my meals.  I don't know how you younguns stay healthy eating out so often.  If you cooked your own chicken, fresh veggies steamed, some great salads everyday these things will happen ...
#1. You will feel more energy & the brain will release the needed chemicals, your pitutary will release it's hormones, your adrenals will get healthier.  You will feel better, I promise!
 Your calories need to be as healthy as they can be.
#2.  You will lose weight and the inches will come off around the middle.  I promise that too.  It happened to me and a whole host of gals that are at my meetings.
 Also, you need some good vitamins, not the junk from the drug stores or WalMart.  Something like TriVita.  It's a sublingual so it's IN the body when it disolves.  I think you can find that at www.TriVita.com.
 Anyway, you know I love you girlfriend and I am rooting hard over here in the sidelines!!!  Go Gin Go!

tracyj1127 said...

You really are doing great.  You already have had huge changed in size and weight.  Thanks for e-mailing me the info on the 1200 calorie diet.  I really appriciate it.  You are stronger than you know.  Rely on that hidden strength.