Tonight was our last session with Abel training us on the equipment. He's always there if we need him but from now on we're out of the nest and flying.
We'd already done the leg exercises twice before, but Abel cranked up the Owwie factor a few notches by making us do them slowly. It burned, but he says that's a good burn.
My sister went with us again tonight, and this time brought her future daughter in law with her. Oddly enough, I wasn't in the least bit intimidated or self conscious. Isn't it funny how the things we are most afraid of barely even raise an eyebrow once we've conquered them?
I really do feel good about the progress I'm making. And Steven even noticed today how much better my mood improves once I've completed a workout.
I like how time loses all meaning once we're in the gym. I don't really worry about rushing to get anything done. Today we were on a bit of a schedule because we were training, so I didn't get all of the biking done or get my three minutes on the eliptical, but really - when it comes to the weight stuff - I have the patience of a saint. I could spend half a day there if I wanted. Easily.
I really enjoy it. I look forward to it. It no longer feels like a chore. Neither does the biking provided its at the gym. I don't know why it's easier to do there than here, it just is. I think it's the group mentality. So many people working out together is inspiring. We're all there for the single minded goal of getting fit. Being heatlhy. I can see why so many people consider the gym their church and fitness their religion.
And what's really funny is I used to look at them all like they were nuts as recently as two weeks ago. Now I get it. It's intoxicating.
I'm even going to forsake the Bachelor tomorrow to get a workout in. If I keep up at this rate I may work out six days a week. Especially if my sister Michelle comes too. With Steven, the kids, Michelle and Melissa (her daughter in law to be), we're taking over the place.
Who knows? The next family reunion might be held at Golds. LOL
Speaking of family stuff, we all know what's coming up in a few weeks. That's right. Turkey Day. Last year I was a baby on this journey I was nervous about Turkey Day. I was sure that I was facing The Enemy. Talk about your overeating temptations. The holidays are full of it.
But you know what? I've come to realize that Turkey Day is not really "Turkey Day". It's Thanksgiving. It's a time to reflect on my blessings and share with others. It's a time to recognize the things I do have and show my gratitude. It's not about the dishes I prepare or the ways I stuff myself, it's about being with family and friends and enjoying the true treasures in my life. Pumpkin pie is nice, but I can live without it. My family, I could not.
I came to the same realization about Christmas. Every year I outdo myself on what I give to my kids. I want to give them big presents, I want to spoil them rotten. This year I put the brakes on and said that this is not what it is going to be about. I'm not going to work myself to exhaustion, I'm not going to spend myself into the poorhouse (actually the brokehouse, I've skated right on past poor at this rate). That's not what Christmas is about.
But I can understand why I put so much emphasis on food and material things. Ever since my dad died when I was eleven, I've been scared senseless to get emotionally close to anyone. It's easier to get close to a cheesecake or a piece of jewelry rather than people, because I have more control over that cheesecake or jewelry.
I cannot control if people are going to stick around, either willingly or even physically. I'm really insecure about that. When people get sick (like my mom has), I find myself distancing myself from her. I'm just so scared to get close to anyone who may someday leave me and there's not a darn thing I can do about it.
So I close off and put my focus on the wrong thing. And it's time I stop that. High time.
This holiday season I'm going to make a concentrated effort to send more of myself out there in the world - to reach out to people, to get closer to loved ones.
And you know what? I think, much like the gym, I'll find it addicting and not the least bit scary once I just dive in.
Tip of the Day: DINING OUT, PART VI. "If you don't clean your plate you cannot have any dessert." Remember hearing that? More appropriately it should have been, "If you clean your plate you shouldn't have any room for dessert." Restaurants serve monster proportions for their dinner entrees. Sometimes you can eat two servings on one plate. So instead, ask the waiter to put half in a to-go box, or, if you're dining with a friend, split the entree. You'll still get a good meal, and still have room for dessert.
Sat. Fat: 9%
Sodium: 4150 (where is all this sodium coming from?? lordy)
Exercise: 15 mins stationary bike, 30 crunches, 30 mins weight training/legs
DAILY AFFIRMATION: It's okay to feel. Truly feeling is truly living.