Wednesday, September 15, 2004

New Habits are Easy to Break...

So have I wimped out or what??

It's now the 15th and I still haven't done my 11th update.  My bad. 

I still haven't gone for a walk, although I did chart my eating last couple of days and met my calorie requirements.

I think the walk is out again today... my back nearly went out again yesterday and it's twinging like crazy this morning.  I sneezed and thought that would be the sneeze that broke the Ginger's back.  I'll save the walk for tonight and go with Steven, that way if my back does get out on me I'll have someone there to help me and a car to make it home in.

Of course I said that yesterday too and just spaced it. 

Needless to say, Pilates will not be done today either.

I'll be glad when October comes and I can finally go see a doctor about this, make sure it's nothing serious.  I'm sure exercise will be prescribed, I just don't want to misjudge and overextend myself now and really do damage.

I feel like a total wimp tho, like I'm making tons of excuses. 

Oprah had her "wildest dream" show on Monday and I realized my "wildest dreams" are generally something that cannot just be handed to me, they're things I have to work for.  The only one of these following dreams she could really do for me is #3:

Ginger's Wildest Dreams

1.  Lose down to goal weight (and go on Oprah's show)
2.  Sell something I write for substantial money
3.  Have Steve Perry sing to me

Numbers 1 and 2 are largely dependent on what I do, the work I put into them.  Of course, going on Oprah's show after I hit goal she can help me with, but other than that these are things I'm going to have to do on my own. 

So I guess they're not dreams really, but goals.  I intend on meeting them - but I feel like if I don't get out of this rut I'm never going to get there.  I need to just bulldoze through the barriers and renew my focus.

I'm down... but I'm not out.


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