Friday, August 6, 2004

A Huge Step

I decided today that we live life like we play poker. 

It came to me as we were out and about doing errands, and I happen to notice this studio that offers services like voice over, recording commercials and script writing.  I noted the website information and planned on investigating the matter further before ever attempting any contact.

Steven, however, marched right in and took the bull by the horns.

In each of our own ways we handled this matter the way we play poker.  Steven takes chances and risks big (he also wins more than I do), me, on the other hand, I am very conservative, only playing when I have a hand and never risking big unless I know the odds are tipped in my favor.  I have much more staying power and do better at tournaments.

Anyway, back to what I was telling you all yesterday in that I have a hard time seeing the "new" me as opposed to the "old" me, my closet is full of clothes that are now big enough to be "too" big.  You know, it no longer works as the camoflauge it used to, instead I look frumpy and dumpy and I'm actually not comfortable anymore in these too big clothes.

Well yesterday I took a page out of Steven's book and put some of these items up on Ebay to sell.  In doing so, I'm taking away my safety net if this weight loss effort doesn't succeed.  I'm also being industrious about it - creating an income to provide for the new smaller clothes I'm going to need.

It was a huge step.  I'm very cautious, I like to keep my options open.  In this way I'm painting myself right into a corner - I literally can't afford to go back to the way I used to live. 

It was a good day - we bought our bus tickets to Vegas (half price super saver fare), got the car repaired so that it can actually make the trip to Amarillo and did some more grocery shopping.  Got a nice thunderstorm to cool things down, came home to children actually ready to help with the chores (shocker!) and now am dealing with what seems like a house full of children.  I'm either going to have to employ yoga or Prozac, I haven't yet decided.

Steven is two days away from being free from the graveyard shift.  I'm really happy about that.  I'm all about schedules and by Monday we're going to be able to schedule our life in a somewhat normal fashion, including one to two walks per day.  I think I'm finally up for it.  I'm saving the Pilates until after we return from the trip and the kids are in school.  It's just a lot easier to do when you don't have kids underfoot.

Speaking of which it's time to prepare dinner and feed the savages. 



journey2sarah said...

Even better would be if you had a sewing machine to take in the no-brainer stuff like t-shirts as a mental exercise.  Slacks are especially easy to alter, just turn them inside out and sew along the back seam (jeans too!) to the crotch.  Even if you botched them up at first it would be a great reality check!  I am so excited for you!!!!

Since you cannot imagine yourself slim, let me share a really delightful story with you--I was in "exile" from one of my northern fiance's-- in FLorida (my wonderful home state) and I went on a diet.  Boy did it work!!!!  I remember being introduced to yard sales at that time (my budget was so tight it didn't just squeak, it squiggled as well).  I thought yard sales the greatest thing ever invented for dieters--I could try at virtually no risk new "looks" and get smaller clothes as needed.  Occasionally I would come across a killer outfit that was 2 sizes lower and of course I would pick it up and hang it in my room and look at it for motivation--I mean real designer good stuff for like 5 bucks!!!  This one dress a size nine was nicknamed "the hammer"--long story-- from the officer's club in Homestead FL (before hurrican Andrew blew it away) --I ended up fitting into it, size 9 (it was an hourglass tie-died faded jeans mini with a slit in the back, dolman cap sleeves, closed Nehru collar, with a huge round hole (backless)! I wore it with matching jeans stilettos...cont'd above.    

journey2sarah said...

(Continued from below)...anyway, you get the picture.  BUT, the ONE dress I shall never for get was a beautiful red David Benjamin coat dress made from the most delightful cotton fabric (real rich looking) that I would pair with red high heels (a clear red perfect match).  I remember seeing the sizes go into the SINGLE digits and intellectually I knew I must be alot smaller but I couldn't "see it."  Well, one day I had that dress on the beautiful red hourglass coat dress (double breasted, red buttons--I have long blonde hair and green eyes) and I went into this special yoghurt shoppe that had sugar-free (then a brand new invention) yoghurt that I frequented--always in the past avoiding my frumpy reflection in the mirror --but I guess this time with all that red on, makeup etc., I caught a look at myself because the crazy middle-aged overtanned woman owner from California with a huge braid about 5 feet long had installed floor to length mirrors all the way around!!! (She herself wore paper-thin tights, showing cleavage etc.,  no foundations required)...and BOY!!! Was I shocked!  I knew I was the only customer in there, so could that glamorous knock-out really be me???  I could see the derriere, etc.  It was ME!  Shocker of all shockers!  I was just about done!  I had virtually nothing more to lose!  IT WAS EXCELLENT!  (Ask me about the PS to this story another time!).  A feeling worth fighting to get!  Stay on plan Ginger!  Plan your substitutes and G-d bless you have a great time!      

journey2sarah said...

PS:  I meant to mention for the jeans dress called "the hammer": in concept, think, "Star Trek."  Very sleek & sophisticated.

jcurz1982 said...

You must be happy to see such a big difference in your weight, Im glad that you are going to be reaching a healthier state in life. :) don't ever give up, your doing such a great job.  I bet a lot of things you do now seem easier.. I know they are for me.  GOOD LUCK!