Thursday, February 24, 2005

Shifting Perception

You may have noticed that I changed the title of the Journal and altered the description.  All of that is directly related to changing my perception of this journey.

I have now entered what I consider Phase II of my weight loss journey.  This is the phase where I stop changing to lose weight, but losing weight because of how I'm changing. 

I anticipate that this will help in two ways.  First of all, it'll get my results minded perception on the right thing, instead of stressing how many pounds that I lose.  Instead of gaging my success on if I lose 2 or 3 pounds per week, I need to gage my success on doing exercise every day, or keeping my food under control. 

We all know that by making those changes my body will change.  It may not happen tomorrow but it has no choice but to happen eventually.

The other way it will help is that people respond to the energy you put out.  If you send out positive energy into the world, you get it back.  I've spent far too long curling up in a ball, anticipating that people will judge me or dismiss me because of how I look.  What happens is because I'm withdrawn, held back, shy, introverted, people DO dismiss me and it probably has nothing whatsoever to do with my weight.

Never underestimate the power of attitude.  People who are comfortable in their own skin are generally very attractive to the world, even when they don't "fit" society's mold of what attractive is supposed to look like.

So by me shifting my perception that will boost my self confidence, and in doing so make interpersonal relationships that much better.

It isn't going to happen overnight.  It's going to require a lot of self talk.  Like Dr. Phil says, it takes 1000 Atta Girls to replace every ONE criticism.  I have my work cut out for me.  I became a little too versed in negative self talk. 

I blame my religious upbringing.  I was raised to be a martyr; do everything, expect nothing back and never say how wonderful you are because that meant you were vain or conceited.  A friend of mine has a saying, he's not conceited, he's convinced.  That's really where I have to get to.

It's not conceited to praise myself - but my whole life has been spent expecting others to say those things over me because if I did it, then it was somehow wrong.   But it's not wrong.  You can't have religious doctrine telling you that God loved you so much he let his own son die for you and in the same breath tell you that you're nothing but a low down dirty sinner who deserves death, hell and the grave. 

No wonder people are so messed up.  I prefer to believe if God loves me, there must be a reason why.  And I really don't believe he'll be mad if I learn to love myself the way that he does.

Take a good hard look at the photo to the left.  That's what happens when you believe you aren't worth anything.

And it's no longer acceptable.

If I won't let anyone else abuse me, it's high time I stop abusing myself.

The sore throat is back again today.  I'm trying to get as much rest as possible to get rid of all the flu symptoms that linger.  One day I'll be able to hear out of my left ear.  I look forward to it LOL.

When that day comes I'll be ready to implement an exercise regimen, I'm still trying to figure out what will work best for our schedule.  Steven got a great new job (he just started yesterday) that will tie him up from 8am to 6pm five days a week, so I'm gearing myself up to do early morning gym runs. 

I'm not sure if I want to commit to that or not.  I know it's probably best for my body, but I am not an early morning person.  I don't want that strike against me when I'm going to have to really work hard to meet my workout requirements.

I'm still debating.  I guess it won't hurt to try it; if it doesn't work I just go back to working at night. 

That makes the decision easier, doesn't it?

Anyway, happy Thursday to you all.  I hope you're still having that Positive Party celebrating yourself today. 

I know I am!


tlaceto said...

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!! I am going to print parts of your journal and hang them right on the good ole fridge.  You will save my life eventually.  You put so much positive energy and common sense into your journal.  I feel like I can do it every time I read it.  I was doing ok, but have gained back.  I have been so negative lately that it keeps dragging me down. And of course I haven't been reading the journals, but I am going to start again and stick to yours no matter how crappy I feel.

kitk1 said...

Oh My God  I have read your Journal for about 6 or seven months now and everytime i read it it gets better and better I think sometimes when we are going though some really bad times we look at others to comfort us or help us find are why Iam 80 lbs overweight i have been trying  so hard to fight this battle i have low self cofidence and everything else but I made a dessicion to put myself first and just for once in my life do this I mean loss the weight   well today I woke up feeling different like the negetive feelins always out way the good ones always good intetions but never good enough to stick with   I feel terrible because I hide my body from everyone  I stay inside thinking  people will hurt me I know this is not true but I feel if I give of myself I will get hurt I always do  but today I woke up and read your journal  and see for the first time that you are going to try something new meaning working on not the pounds but your exercise and other things and I was so happy to hear the pounds dont matter because that is what I always base my success or failer on  and I have the strength to try to make it to the gym everyday  now I finally after many days putting it off feel that I will go to the gym everyday  now  I will get my 4 kids off to school and I will go to a ladies gym starting tommorow and I will go everyday  this promise to you is just that a promise just to you I won't tell this to my kids or my live in boyfriend because they will laugh and say right what ever but I say this to you I will go  thank you for making a little part of my day everyday make a little sense  and I wish for  much happiness and joy on your journey to sucess and God Bless you and your Family!!!!                         Kathy

patchmom said...

**APPLAUSE** Thank you for the inspirational message this morning! If you get feeling low or down on yourself you need to come back and read what you wrote. Thank you for sharing this - you are touching people's hearts. : )

missparie86 said...

Ginger you are a BEAUTIFUL person. And you may not  see it but you help so many others beyond belief. You speak what my peers and myself call "real talk". No punches held. You tell it how it is and mostly what other people may think but don't have the balls to say. You're the blueprint of a true weight loser to me. Because for you it's more than a physical thing. It's pass the weight and smaller clothes. It's about feel good about you and knowing that you are being the best you can and that is what makes you INCREDIBLE to me. You're determination and perserverance despite all that goes on around you is not only a great accomplishment but an inspiration to me. Keep it up. i can't wait until you reach the high of all highs. You deserve it! Take care and keep up all the positivity. Don't let anybody rain on ur parade!!!!


missparie86 said...

And I happened to notice in reading the entries from earlier in the week that you have a link to my old journal. I deleted it and since then have created another one. Here's an updated like...i always look 4ward to hearing from you again

jjsilcocks said...

WOW! What a powerful entry. I loved what you wrote. I feel exactly the same way! I could have written what you wrote. I am a BIG FAN of Dr. Phil and all of his wonderful advice. You are definately on the right track to a successful weightloss and having the courage to change from the inside out is a HUGE step! I need to follow your advice on how you are gageing success. I AM WITH YA SISTAH! I feel what you wrote! You WILL be a huge success because you are THERE mentally! Way to go!! I look forward to many more future entries just like these. They really are inspiring! Thanks so much for sharing!
Good luck and Never Surrender!