You may have noticed that I changed the title of the Journal and altered the description. All of that is directly related to changing my perception of this journey.
I have now entered what I consider Phase II of my weight loss journey. This is the phase where I stop changing to lose weight, but losing weight because of how I'm changing.
I anticipate that this will help in two ways. First of all, it'll get my results minded perception on the right thing, instead of stressing how many pounds that I lose. Instead of gaging my success on if I lose 2 or 3 pounds per week, I need to gage my success on doing exercise every day, or keeping my food under control.
We all know that by making those changes my body will change. It may not happen tomorrow but it has no choice but to happen eventually.
The other way it will help is that people respond to the energy you put out. If you send out positive energy into the world, you get it back. I've spent far too long curling up in a ball, anticipating that people will judge me or dismiss me because of how I look. What happens is because I'm withdrawn, held back, shy, introverted, people DO dismiss me and it probably has nothing whatsoever to do with my weight.
Never underestimate the power of attitude. People who are comfortable in their own skin are generally very attractive to the world, even when they don't "fit" society's mold of what attractive is supposed to look like.
So by me shifting my perception that will boost my self confidence, and in doing so make interpersonal relationships that much better.
It isn't going to happen overnight. It's going to require a lot of self talk. Like Dr. Phil says, it takes 1000 Atta Girls to replace every ONE criticism. I have my work cut out for me. I became a little too versed in negative self talk.
I blame my religious upbringing. I was raised to be a martyr; do everything, expect nothing back and never say how wonderful you are because that meant you were vain or conceited. A friend of mine has a saying, he's not conceited, he's convinced. That's really where I have to get to.
It's not conceited to praise myself - but my whole life has been spent expecting others to say those things over me because if I did it, then it was somehow wrong. But it's not wrong. You can't have religious doctrine telling you that God loved you so much he let his own son die for you and in the same breath tell you that you're nothing but a low down dirty sinner who deserves death, hell and the grave.
No wonder people are so messed up. I prefer to believe if God loves me, there must be a reason why. And I really don't believe he'll be mad if I learn to love myself the way that he does.
Take a good hard look at the photo to the left. That's what happens when you believe you aren't worth anything.
And it's no longer acceptable.
If I won't let anyone else abuse me, it's high time I stop abusing myself.
The sore throat is back again today. I'm trying to get as much rest as possible to get rid of all the flu symptoms that linger. One day I'll be able to hear out of my left ear. I look forward to it LOL.
When that day comes I'll be ready to implement an exercise regimen, I'm still trying to figure out what will work best for our schedule. Steven got a great new job (he just started yesterday) that will tie him up from 8am to 6pm five days a week, so I'm gearing myself up to do early morning gym runs.
I'm not sure if I want to commit to that or not. I know it's probably best for my body, but I am not an early morning person. I don't want that strike against me when I'm going to have to really work hard to meet my workout requirements.
I'm still debating. I guess it won't hurt to try it; if it doesn't work I just go back to working at night.
That makes the decision easier, doesn't it?
Anyway, happy Thursday to you all. I hope you're still having that Positive Party celebrating yourself today.
I know I am!