Alright, fellow bootcampers. Oprah's Boot Camp begins February 14. What a wonderful way to say how much we love us!
I've been on a pseudo diet preparing myself for the 12 week routine; dumping all starches except for my breakfast cereal. I've been doing whole foods rather than processed stuff, and not so much as a noodle has crossed these lips.
It's not been easy. I'm not sure if it's psychological OR if it's physiological but I just don't feel as satisfied. I don't buy for a moment that eating proteins makes you feel sated.
I miss bread.
But I'll get over it. It's twelve weeks, right?
I still think the biggest challenge for me is going to be incorporating exercise. We went for a mile walk again today and we'll hit the gym tonight after Steven gets off work.
But to me, this boot camp is more about exercise than the eating. It's about pushing myself to my own limits and learning how much I really can do.
This isn't about losing weight. It's about being the best me I can be - striving for health and excellence, not some mythical ideal of beauty or perfection.
I realized something the other day. There is one thing I am totally perfect at. No one can be as perfectly me as me. And that's a very special thing.
We're heading toward Holiday Challenge #1. I'm a bit of a chocoholic, so it's a little daunting for me. Thankfully there is sugar free chocolate that can take the edge off. I won't be doing any alcohol, and I think I'll probably even skip the starches. I think it would be that much harder to dump it again if I go off the wagon. It's going to be hard enough saying goodbye to my cereal.
And all this of course is barring any unforeseen circumstances. Our families both got hit with big nasty surprises this weekend that may dramatically impact our immediate future. Steven's grandfather had a major stroke on Saturday. Poor Steven has been a wreck. We may end up having to go to California. We'd go in a second if needed. Family is family and it comes before all else.
We did it in 2002 when my sister got deathly sick. Dropped everything and just went, because when your family needs you, you're there.
Which, ironically, has a lot to do with the other attack on my side of the family.
My sister's son and his fiance live with her, but things have been tense for a while. Boundaries weren't properly set and resentments run high as expectations aren't met - in the end it may be that the son and fiance are going to leave for Dallas. My sister, who depends a lot on my nephew, would certainly have her world upheaved by it. I don't mind filling in the slack. I should have a car in a week and will be able to, and like I said - when your family needs you, you're there.
Ironically, as tense as the weekend has been I haven't reached for food as comfort. I consider that progress. I was on a weight loss program in 2002 when my sister got sick. I had lost about 30 - 40lbs by the time we went to LA. Once we got there, though, I totally went off the wagon. Food, booze, the whole nine. I dumped everything - it was so traumatic.
Interestingly, Steven - who is on the program with me - did want to get food for comfort, namely a hamburger. But considering he didn't want to smoke instead is a big deal for him too. He stopped smoking in 2000, but in times of high stress has reverted back to lighting up. In this case, he didn't want to smoke. So I think that's progress for him too.
So keep us in your prayers, especially Steven's granddad and my sister. I'm feeling strong today, and for that I am going to give myself an atta girl.
I'm also going to give myself an atta girl for deciding to buy an older car rather than go into debt for a newer one. We found out the payments would be more than we could afford, so we instead checked out a friend's van they want to sell. For the same amount of money we were going to use as a down payment, we could own a vehicle outright.
And it's a van so it will be a good family car. It also has a brand new engine and transmission, so these are very good things.
My only hesitation was that it wasn't what I wanted (something newer and sportier and "prettier"). Then I realized it IS what I wanted - I wanted a vehicle to drive, and that's what it is. I wanted the independence, and I'll have it.
And I won't go broke to get it.
HUGE attagirl for that.
So all in all, things are stressful but I'm still on task. No more excuses.
They're right. Your ability to surprise yourself is limitless.