Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Good morning!

Yep, you read that right.  I'm HAPPY.  I'm still sick, but I'm happy all the same.

I'm happy because I made the choice to be.  I'm not going to let my happiness hinge on the scale because I'm more than that scale.  I've said it for months but today I actually FEEL it, and y'all... it feels really good.

I decided that this Boot Camp is going to be more than just losing weight.  This boot camp is going to be what kickstarts my exercise level back to what it was supposed to be and the nice thing will be that I will lose weight and change my body in the process.  However the most important part of this is going to be the change that is going to happen from the inside out.

It's a celebration of ME.

That's right.  You heard me.  I invite every single person who reads this to get your party hats on and celebrate today how wonderful you are.

We live in a society that reserves its praise for those who have accomplished something.  There's never a shortage of love for winners, people who overcome the odds and become the heroes of their lives. 

But here's something that we don't really think about.  We're ALL heroes.  We are all the protagonists in our own lives and every step we take is storyworthy - not just the ending. 

This is where I had it all wrong.  This was where I was failing.

I wasn't failing because I wasn't losing any weight, or not doing exercise or not eating exactly right.

I was failing because my THINKING wasn't right.

So I've decided that I'm going to change from the inside out.  I'm not going to let my value or identity hinge on what size I am.  I'm going to learn to value myself every day for all the wonderful things I can and have done.  I'm going to celebrate each pound as it goes, and I'm going to celebrate each pound as it stays. 

Instead of being all depressed that the scale doesn't move, I'm going to throw a party for every inch that does.  That's the sign that I'm turning fat into muscle, which means I'm getting stronger.  Not better... stronger.

Being thinner doesn't mean being better.  This isn't about being better.  This is about being healthier.  My whole inner dialogue has to change.  I've bought into the lie that I can't be happy if I'm not thin.  What a crock! 

Here's what being fat means to me right now:  I have issues I need to change.

You show me one person on the planet who doesn't have one area in their life they need to work on or improve.  Everyone has issues they need to work on, nobody is perfectly where they want to be.  The whole human condition is dependant upon moving, growing, expanding, evolving.  The only time we are done changing or growing is when we die.

I don't know about you, but I'm not ready for that yet.

So I'm not going to tell myself that I'm not good enough just because I have this issue I need to change.  Because you know what?  If I tell myself that I'll never be good enough.  What happens when I lose the weight?  I'll then have this or that to change.  College to finish, kids to raise, books to write... if I can't love myself in the now, I'll never love myself because I will continue to be a work in progress.

And that's okay.

It's more than okay.  It's normal.  I'm normal.  That's all I ever wanted when I was growing up, I couldn't understand why some kid could eat what I ate and be naturally thin and I was instead cursed to be fat.  This isn't a curse.  It's just life. 

This is what it means to be human, and instead of beating myself up for it, I'm going to celebrate it.

I'm a perfectionist, right?  Well there is one thing I'm really perfect at.  No one can be Ginger like I can be. 

And here's what she deserves:

A healthy, long life
A healthy, strong body
A good self esteem because she's darned special to the world
A life of No Fear - no fear of judgment or ridicule or failure

And you want to hear something funny?  Changing the way you think about yourself changes the way you think about your journey.  If you're stuck in a rut and need a boost of motivation, write your own Declaration of Celebration.  Write out why you deserve to have a healthy life, write out why you're so awesome and you will WANT to do the things that you need to do. 

I know because I now feel totally inspired to exercise - and that hardly EVER happens!

I'm still sick and still recovering so I'm not going to push myself.  I am worth starting this Boot Camp as healthy as I can be.  But the good news is I'm feeling progressively better each day.  I even woke up today without the sinus headache that has been plaguing me for the last several days.  I'm still coughing, my throat is still raw and I'm plugged up from the neck up so I may still be a few days from total recovery.  But when that day comes, I'm pumped and ready to go.

I urge you all to celebrate yourselves no matter where you are in your journey of life.  No matter what you have yet to change or how you have yet to evolve, embrace the fact that you are a special person who deserves the best.

Love yourself today; it will show tomorrow.

Much love to all!





jjsilcocks said...

Are you joining Oprah's bootcamp? I am looking into it right now actually. I love your journal. So full of wonderful, inspriation and positive entries. You are so right about weightloss being from the inside OUT. I feel the exact same way. You can do it! You really, really can!

babsibunny said...

I have just "stumbled" upon you.  I read very good things and just had to say "YOU GO GIRL!!!"  It really is what's inside...keep it up...I got to go get my party hat on and have a good time!!  Size is not the issue; health certainly is I have made up my mind that THIS is the time I will lose my weight, gain my health and have my fun!!!

dolcecaramela05 said...

you go gurl! i def. agree! celebrate oneself!


deltonwatson said...

I must first say that it is good to find someone else that seems to be going thru the same things as me, having problems getting the weight off.  I really enjoyed reading your journey and you have given me courage to get up and get moving, because I deserve to be here and a have healthy life.  All I ask is that you keep up the good work and I'll do my best to encourage myself that life is all that I make it.    

jeff466 said...

I'm glad you are feeling better  :)  I'm glad you  made the choice to be!  I love you, Jeff

sjburgess51 said...

Glad you are feeling better!  It's also good to see you so positive!!  Praise God from whom all blessings flow!