Friday, June 10, 2005

Insomnia bites.

Now I remember why I sleep during the day.

I can't sleep at night.


I'll get it together.


I'm feeling so bloody unmotivated.  It's really ridiculous.  I know that unless I just get off my arse and do the work, I'm not going to move from this spot.  Yet I can't find the oomph to get going.  It just feels like everything I want is just completely out of my reach.

Forgive the whiny post but...

I've been telling you how much I wanted to kinda get away since Feb/March.  At first we were going to go to either Houston or New Orleans, but that didn't work out.  Then my sister and I thought about going to San Antonio for her birthday.  That didn't work out.  Then we were going to go to Vegas, but the whole Cancun thing came up instead. 

Then I was supposed to go to Galveston this weekend for a wedding.  THAT didn't pan out.

Then I was asked to go to Dallas.

THAT didn't pan out.

I wanted to go to New York City to see Hal Sparks but that proved too expensive.  So then I found a way to go to San Francisco instead.

Guess what happened?  Together now...

THAT didn't work out.

I've been expecting to sell this script by summer.

It's summer.  And I'm still working through rewrites.

For free.

Considering the lever is stuck in deprivation mode, the last thing I want to do is diet and exercise. 

I know it's no answer or excuse and it won't make me feel better - in fact I'll feel worse if I don't impede the backward progress my life has taken in the last six or so months - but I just can't seem to get the motor started.

No one's fault but my own. 

I know.  I know.


Depression sucks.

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