I'ma gonna hate myself in the morning.

Okay, you all know I've been floundering trying to find my place in this weight loss journey.  Things that used to work aren't working anymore, OR I've just lost heart in the journey.  Stagnation tends to do that and I'm just sick and damned tired of not being able to get below 278. 

So I'm ready to do something drastic.

I've been looking for help.  I was thinking about LA Weight Loss, but money comes into play.  I really can't afford to spend hundreds of dollars on a program.  So I started looking at Dr. Phil's diet program. 

I think I need something more, policed as it were.

Lo and behold when I go to Oprah.com, she's going to start something called Oprah's Boot Camp on February 7th.

 

Boot Camp.  That sounds daunting doesn't it?  Because it is!  We're talking a month without all the stuff that makes my toes curl with delight.

Yep, you guessed it.  Carbohydrates.  Nothing white, and no grains either.  It'll be veggies, protein and fruit - and that's it.

I may not want to live the rest of my life like that, but I can live a month that way.  The two months that follow that initial month I can have grains as well, which is an eating program I can get behind.

 

I have to admit it bothers me.  I don't like the low carb lifestyle, I don't think it's healthy and I don't like how I feel on it (deprived, sluggish, cranky) - I'm willing to give it a month of my life in the hopes that whatever is wrong with my body chemically will be changed and I won't hold onto this weight or bad habits anymore.  If I can live without refined foods, processed foods and sugar for a month, then I can learn a whole new way to eat better and healthier for the longterm.  (I still maintain whole grains and fruits and veggies are a part of that healthier life)

The one thing I WILL get out of this is getting off my butt and moving.  Her workout regimen is just as stringent as the eating regimen.  Six days of resistance training for 20 mins a day, and five days of 30 mins cardio with one day at one whole hour of cardio.

 

I'm not looking forward to it, to be honest BUT I look up to Oprah and for me to commit this to her puts a whole lot more accountability on me.  I want to be able, at the end of three months, to write Oprah a letter saying I lost XX pounds and XX inches.  I want before and after photos to give to her.  I want to be able to have one of the people I look up to most in the world to be able to be proud of what *I* accomplished.

My ego is on the line.

And talk about your integrity.  What better test of integrity could there be?

 

What I will do is journal each and ever painful step using this blog as an instrument of postive growth.  Instead of bitching and moaning I'm going to turn this blog into a gratitude journal.  I'll start listing things that build me up, not tear me down.

Life is all about perception.  I can be happy or I can be depressed.  It really IS my choice.  I'll start littering this place with Atta Girls to pat myself on the back and build myself up. 

It's time to turn off that negative chatterbox.  What an insidious malicious little saboteur that thing is. 

It's time to re-read Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway cover to cover. 

 

Three months.  That's all I have to get through.  And who knows?  I used to think I couldn't get through a day with Pepsi and I got over that addiction.  I can do this - I can do anything. 

Maybe this is just the thing to remind me of that very important fact.

If anyone is interested in joining this, let me know. 

T-minus ten days and counting....