One Day at a Time

It's been a good day so far.  I only got about four hours of sleep last night but it was a necessary sacrifice to switch my days over. 

I am on my second 24 oz bottle of water and I've been eating small meals (250-300 calories) every three hours.  I also managed to take my vitamins today, which I hope will translate into feeling a bit less sluggish. 

I'm a little stressed out, to be honest with you.  Financially things aren't so great.  I was expecting my grant check to come in this week, found out today it's going to be mid to late June.  That puts us into a bit of a bind.  We'll get through but I'm still wiggin' a bit to get through the next ten days till payday.

The good news is Steven is having a really good month.  Every month before had been slow to start, he'd sell his first car of the month a week into it.  So far he's sold three and he had to cancel lunch with me because he had a customer.  So that means his check should be double what it has been.

We'll be okay ... I'm just feeling the strain.

Time to whip out the phone book and find a doctor for the Zoloft or whatever they want to prescribe.   I just can't handle the roller coaster anymore.  One week I'm great, next week I'm down.  I've been an emotional wreck for several days now.  I don't know why things are still bothering me, specifically Dan's death, but it just feels really raw these days.  I don't know why.  It's been..what?  Two and a half years?

We went to see Madagascar the other day.  It was much needed considering it was one of the funniest movies I've seen in a really long time.  Then I came home and watched Finding Neverland.

I must be psychotic.

They're both good movies but talk about your opposite ends of the spectrum.  I was crying at both, but for two different reasons.  In Madagascar it was because I was laughing so hard I was crying and in Finding Neverland it was because it was just so darn sad.

Thereal life story was even sadder.  Sorry I looked it up, it ruined the movie a bit for me.  All I can say is that the film is *based* on a real life story and not the real life story itself.

I like the fairy tale much better.

I could go into this long list of things I want to do today or tomorrow, but truth is I'm tired.  If I make it to the mall for a walk I'm lucky.  Tomorrow I want to weigh in.... I'm not optimistic.  But... gotta face the music.

The problem has only gotten worse the less attention I've paid to it.

But I'm not going to beat myself up for what happened yesterday and I'm not going to overschedule my life for what happens tomorrow.

I'm just going to handle today.

And today, I'm in control.