Waiting to Exhale...

Well it's nearly here.  I've worked hard for it and a holiday respite is upon me.  I.  Cannot.  Wait.  I have about six hours worth of work ahead of me plus some residual cleaning before my company arrives this afternoon - plus I want to get another installment done on My Immortal.  But as of 1:30pm I should be free to enjoy some well deserved time off. 

My new journal is really the book I'm writing as part of the National Novel Writing Month project (affectionately dubbed NaNoWriMo) that challenges writers if they can complete a 50,000 word novel in 30 days (the month of November).  I decided to take one of my screenplays and flesh it out in novel form.  At first, it was not easy because a screenplay is an entirely different animal than a novel.  In a screenplay you only have 120 pages (or less, usually) to tell a complete story, depending mostly on the pictures you can paint with minimal description.  You're not allowed to direct your characters and you aren't supposed to write anything that cannot be translated onto film.  Dialogue must be fresh and scenes must be short - leaving enough clues to tell your story without beating your audience over the head. 

One of my favorite screenplays is American Beauty.  If you've seen this movie you realize that it told the complete stories of Lester, Caroline, Jane, Ricky, Angela and Colonel Fitts contained within those strict rules.  For someone who struggles with one or two characters, I bow to Alan Ball's genius.  He's frickin amazing.

He got his start writing TV sitcoms, which are yet another beasty altogether.  In that respect Seinfeld was probably the best written of all the sitcoms I've seen just because they managed to tell four complete stories each week that somehow always connected even when it seemed implausible for them to.  And they only had, what?, 22 minutes to do their job.  Ah-mazing.

So anyway My Immortal is a screenplay I wrote at the beginning of the year in the space of a week.  I wrote like a woman possessed to tell this story.  Ironically, it's about vampires.  Guess who's scared silly of vampires? <raises hand while covering neck>.

I actually have a pretty funny story about vampires.  Like I said, they're the one ficticious monster I've always been the most fearful of.  I dunno why, I know they're not real, but there's just something about them that freaks me the heck out.  Probably because they're so seductive.  It's that sex/death combination that generally hits my Scorpio core.

When I was about 15 I was a huge Stephen King fan.  What kid in the 80s wasn't?  And you know what happens when you are the fan of a novelist - you have to read EVERY single book they put out.  Stephen King kept me busy the entire decade, till the expanded version of the Stand and It finally broke my will.  He's still a good writer, but I'm just exhausted.

Well of course being a horror writer, he has a book on vampires called Salem's Lot.  I started reading this book even though I knew it would spook me.  Call me a glutton for punishment.  And even though I love Stephen usually, this book was very hard to get into.  It read very dry for me.  Don't ask me why I made it a mission to finish it anyway.

About half way through, I'm pretty worked up by it.  I'm wearing a cross to bed, I'm keeping my windows shut even though it was the middle of a hot West Texas summer.  I am completely wiggin out.  And, silly me, I read it at night right before I went to sleep.  By the time I had to get up and make that long few yards to the light and back to bed, I was a nervous wreck.

This one particular evening as the story was getting really good and scary, I went to turn off the light and make my usual dive under the covers from halfway across the room.  I'm laying there in total darkness, my breathing ragged, my heartbeat thundering, trying to relax enough to fall asleep.  I had my back to the window because as we all know if you look a vampire in the eye they can will you to open said window. 

Finally everything started to calm down and I started to doze.  Then, out of no where, there was this huge BLAM!! against my window.  Picture me, sitting straight up in bed, a scream caught in my throat, my hand clasped around my teeny weeny cross and thinking, I really should have fashioned that wooden stake like I had planned.

After that minor heart attack I realized that my cat, who had always been able to jump in and out of my room thanks to my window, made an unfortunate miscalculation and crashed against the now closed and locked window. 

Like I said.  Vampires spook me.

Why I chose to write this story, I have no idea.  It's about a reporter who is hot on the case of a child killer in her sleepy, small town.  This cynical woman must face the possibility that the killer isn't human and he's working his way to get to her.  At it's core it is a love story and a story of sacrifice.  It's got a few neat little twists too, but I'll let you read about those if you are so inclined.  Just don't read it right before going to bed.

Here's the link:  My Immortal.  I try to write a little every day.  If you're new to the story, the beginning of the journal is the first installment, so just read up from there.

Feel free to bust my chops on any spelling errors, grammatical errors (like changing from past to present tense), because I'm not really editing as I go.  I'm just getting it down and pressing on toward the 50,000 mark.  I'm at like 24,300 right now. 

Even if you read the screenplay, you might want to read the novel.  I'm learning so much about my characters now that I have room to grow, and I'm even learning new stuff about their story.  There are new scenes and new characters - it's really developed a life of its own.

Which, to me, is the coolest thing about writing anyway.

Another commenter asked me what I do for a living.   I actually have a very interesting job.  My sister owns her own business selling celebrity photos through Ebay.  We have about eight photographers on both the west and east coast who go to the film premieres, award shows and celebrity events where the celebrities pose willingly (this is not paparazzi).  We take those photos and offer them for auction and direct sale both on Ebay: Hollywood Stars Unlimited Thumbnail Gallery and our own website:  http://hollywoodstarsunlimited.com/. 

I've been wanting to do something fun on my journal like my friend, Jeff.  And the celebrity thing is right up my alley.  It's not exactly weight loss related per se, but this is not just a weight loss journal - it's a Journey to Me.  Having worked in the celebrity biz since 1995, this is a huge part of me. 

We'll just see how it all comes together. 

Speaking of my friend Jeff, he needs a little support right now.  Yesterday he had to put down his 13 year old dog and it was devastating for him.  He held him as he gently fell asleep in his arms and drifted to heaven, which still brings tears to my eyes.  Jeff is so strong to have done that, and it was the most loving gift he could have done.  Rudy went to sleep in the arms of someone who loved him - the way I'm sure most of us wish we could go.  Go see his journal Point.Click.Jeff for a photo of our Rudy Patootie.  Aunt Ginger loves you, baby.  See you when we get there.  :(

I really should put a tip in here for the holidays considering tomorrow is the big day.  Here's my gameplan.  I'm not going to put values in Fitday because with all the recipes it's just going to be too difficult to properly attach the right values to everything.  Instead I'm going to eata little bit of a lot of different types of food and make sure I get a long walk in tomorrow afternoon.  Everything in moderation, modifying my recipes where possible. 

I have a lime jello salad I make that is SO GOOD.  I have it every single year, twice a year on holidays.  It's made with lime jello, pineapple, cream cheese and 7up.  I'm modifying it to sugar free lime jello, pineapple packed in 100% juice, fat free cream cheese and diet 7up.

I'm also making the mashed potatoes with chicken broth instead of milk and butter.  I'm making gravy from a mix rather than prepare it from the drippings.  We're smoking the turkey.  I'm going to eat my beloved sweet potatoes with no extra brown sugar (and I'm not putting marshmellows on them - which isn't that difficult as I don't really like marshmellows anyway).  I have sugar free hot cocoa, two kinds of veggies and wheat King Hawaiian Rolls.  Just minor modifications that allow me to still eat really well.

The only recipe I can't totally cheat is my cherry delight.  It's made with Eagle Brand Milk, cherry pie filling, whipped cream and pineapple.  We got the Fat Free Eagle Brand Milk, the lite cherry pie filling, light whipped cream and pineapple packed in 100% juice rather than syrup.  It cheats it a little bit but the sugar is still killer.  I wasn't even going to make it but the majority ruled.  It's a family favorite since I started making it about ten, fifteen years ago. 

Anyway the clock is ticking and I have a gazillion things to do.  I hope everyone has a safe and happy Thanksgiving.  I'll close this installment with some of the things that I'm grateful for, in no particular order. 

1.  I'm grateful that I'm winning this battle on weight. 
2.  I'm grateful that my mother in law is coming to visit us.
3.  I'm grateful my sister will have all her kids around her for the first time since 1983.
4.  I'm grateful that even though I'm still not at my ideal, I'm healthy and strong.
5.  I'm grateful for this Journal.
6.  I'm grateful for all the people I've met thanks to this journal, who pour their love to me so generously. 
7.  I'm grateful for the advice that I get, even if I choose not to take it.
8.  I'm grateful for the friends and family who read this journal every day:  Jeff, Sharon (Mom2), Roger (Dad), Erica and Jeannie.  (And Steven too :) )
9.  I'm grateful for a loving husband who supports me and makes me feel beautiful - who's pride in me for making these changes doesn't inspire my own but echoes it.
10.  I'm grateful for all the people I've loved even though they're now gone, especially Dan, who taught me more about living in his death than I ever learned on my own. 
11.  I'm grateful that I have his sons gracing my life, who in small ways every day remind me that love lives on.  These two are why I fought against death and found myself in the process.
12.  I'm grateful that I am an American.  I may not always agree with the leadership of this country but I know how good we have it.  On a smaller scale I'm very proud to be a Texan because there's nothing like living here. 
13.  Finally, and most importantly, I'm grateful to God.  Through Him, I have all the rest.  With Him, anything is possible.