Two Words: Candy Corn

Thanks to everyone for their prayers and concern for Jeremiah.  He's off to school to show off his boo boo and be the center of attention all day long.  What torture LOL.

As for me I have a minor headache that has haunted me for days because I couldn't sleep for squat.  I thought I was in control of my stress but I realized last night, I was wrong.

 

Which brings me to the title of my entry today.  If there's one weakness I have during the Halloween candy season, it's candy corn.  Specifically the pumpkin looking kind.  Pure sugar through and through.  I faced off against candy corn at the walmart last week and won the battle.  At Target the other day, I folded like a cheap lawn chair. 

But that's not the worst of it.  I have wanted to eat badly these last few days.  We're talking cheeseburgers and fattening food - fried chicken, mashed potatoes, etc etc etc.  I recognized the pattern at the emergency room yesterday when I went past the vending machine and wanted a candy bar.  I hardly ever eat candy bars - the real kind.  But I wanted one so badly my mouth started to water.

Then I wanted a whataburger last night on the way home.  But not just a whataburger, a whataburger and a fried apple pie.  And when I didn't get it, I was seriously p*ssed off. 

 

This accident has really thrown me for a loop.  Aside from what happened in February, this is one of the most stressful things that has happened to me during this year.  And the very first thing I want to do to comfort myself is to stuff everything I'm feeling down with food. 

It really surprised me to make this revelation.  I was so certain I had it all under control.  The eating issue had long been resolved to my mind. 

I think subconsciously the plateau has a lot to do with it.  I'm tired of depriving myself only to stand in the same place.  Yes, I'm glad I've lost inches.  Yes, I'm impressed with losing ten dress sizes.  But I gotta tell you, when something like this happens and I'm faced with all these old triggers, being at this plateau seriously has me flipping over into entitlement from the deprivation.

 

Which brings me to an important conclusion.  The no sugar thing hasn't worked for me.  The first month I lost 6lbs but after that I have lost nothing, even gained.  I don't think sugar is my culprit.  In fact, I'll go even further to say I think sodium was far more detrimental to my diet than sugar ever was.

This is not to suggest that I plan to go back to my old way of eating.  I actually like things like no sugar cookies, candies and ice cream.  I don't drink sugared sodas anymore and haven't for a very long time.  But what it means is if I want a donut I'm going to give myself a donut.

Everything is permissible in the correct portion.  I can eat three oreo cookies (or whatever a serving is), just not down the whole bag.

Over my history I have proven that being able to eat a cheeseburger now and again or have a Krispy Kreme every once and a while - or the fried apple pie - actually HELPED me lose weight.  Which leads me to

 

Tip of the Day:  BE  PRACTICAL!  Don't go on a diet that you cannot adhere to for the rest of your life.  Nothing sabotages a diet worse than thinking you'll never be able to eat another piece of cheesecake or another piece of pizza.  It's not so much what you eat, it's how much you eat.  And research has even shown that a little bit of the good stuff is preferable to a bunch of "healthy" alternatives. 

 

I'll write more on this subject later.  The school has called and now saying I have to take Jeremiah to yet another doctor.

One more day off routine and another day dangerously teetering on going off program.

God give me strength.