Today's weigh in was disappointing. It showed 283.0lbs. All that euphoria I felt yesterday was popped just like a balloon. Despite the fact I didn't get any sleep last night, despite the fact that I've been exercising and gaining muscle, nothing seems to make me feel any better because I just can't get those numbers to move no matter what I do - unless it's in the opposite direction of where I want them to go.
To come here and report a gain strikes me at my perfectionist core. I feel like an utter failure to show a gain in my weight LOSS journal. I hate it. Hate it, hate it, hate it. Steven tries to talk me down and tells me all this stuff I've been trying to tell myself all this time to keep going, but the fact of the matter is none of my weigh ins are going to get any better as long as I put so much emphasis on it. It's why I can't sleep the night before even though I know that I need to in order to get a good weigh in. I stress so much I'm sabotaging myself.
So I've made an important decision. I'm going to put my money where my mouth is, so to speak. I've said forever it's not about the pounds it's about being healthier. In order for that to be true I'm just going to dump the weekly weigh in. As of now we're going to do a monthly weigh in at or around the first, and that's it. Instead of basing my behavior on a weekly basis, I'm going to give it a whole month. This means dumping the home scale too, because I do that daily.
Instead I'm just going to focus on meeting my nutritional requirements, getting in my exercise and doing what I need to do on a daily basis.
Another thing I'm going to start doing is watching my sodium again. Yesterday I really did bad and had over 5000mg of sodium, twice as much as the daily requirement of 2400mg. Today I feel bloated and nasty. So I'm going to give myself a 3000mg limit on that in addition to my other goals.
NEW GOALS:
Calories: M-F & Sunday: 2000, Sat. 2400
Fat: 30% or <
Sat. Fat: 10% or <
Fiber: 25g
Calcium: 1000mg
Sodium: 3000mg or <
Water: 64oz or >
Exercise: 30 mins vigorous exercise at least 5 times a week
I think it's time we hit the gyms to see which one will be a good fit also, so we can get some weight training in. I'm not ruling out Curves at all, I'm going to go visit that with my sister in the near future (her schedule has been conflicting lately). But I do want to see about something that Steven and I can do together just for schedule's sake. The only time I can get any real decent sleep these days is in the late morning/early afternoon - so I don't want to commit to Curves with my sister since that's the time she goes. Until I've tried it and know it's something I can do for myself, there's no real point in making that a goal.
I've learned that about exercise. You really have to like what you do. If it's a chore, it's going to be easier to ditch.
Plus Steven and I need to do something like this together, just us. We need more stuff we can do as a couple rather than fracturing off into our own thing. And what better thing could we do than stuff that improves our health?
Tip of the Day: DON'T WEIGH YOURSELF TOO OFTEN. Yes, I know it's taken me a lot of time to listen to this tip for myself, but the reason I put these tips in here isn't just for the reader. Writing them down helps affirm them for myself. According to the experts, our weight fluxuates for a variety of different reasons, so our weight loss success isn't always measured by the numbers on the scale. (ain't that the truth). How we fit in our clothes, how we look or feel, and inches lost can be just as indicative of weight loss success.
Stats: TBA
5 comments:
I keep telling you...YOU ARE A GODSEND! There was a reason that I just out of the blue started reading your journal daily. I used to read it every so often when AuntYeeYee posted daily but then I came across it again and it's become addictive. You not only are well spoken but I just find that everytime I read ur journal it's delivering a message that I've been needing for the longest. I am the same way lately. As far as not being able to thing about anything else but weight loss, weight loss weight loss. It's like everything I do or say is weight oriented. It's insane. ANd i used to think thtat I was the only one who was stressing over it beyond necessity. It's okay to be determined to do something but obsession is an all together different thing and often is a saboteur in itself.
Dumping the scale is a big step in any "losers" journey. I personally have to see those digital demons right now just until I can get out of this rut but as soon as I hit onederland I'm putting it far far away and just worrying about inches, personal achievements, etc. But before I make this a book, lol I'm going to close by saying I wish you the best in your endeavors and I honestly hope that you and Steven find something you both enjoy as you said. Cuz working together makes it that much easier and even more of an accomplishment. I've g2g but have a wonderful weekend/week. Talk to you soon.
Alyssa
Have you been measuring yourself, because you could be losing inches
http://journals.aol.com/derasta/ADayInTheLife
somebody has been shopping at Lane Bryant! Looking good keep up the good work!!
I just did a weight loss entry in my journal a couple of days ago! It is about that new plan I told you about! Anyway, I am struggling with the daily weigh in thing, too... I was weighing daily, but now I am going to make Saturdays my weekly weigh in and measurement day!
Tracy
I have been weighing myself only once a month, and I am very happy with it. It really takes the *goal oriented* pressure off and makes me feel better on a daily basis. Also, I am so proud that you keep reporting and writing even when you don't see scale proof of your progress. I find it very motivating to me.
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