A HUGE Milestone. HUGE.

Needless to say the journal has a new look.  What inspired it was I wanted to include fireworks around my stats because I'm trying to focus on my accomplishments, rather than wait for affirmation after I reach goal.  The firework gif had a black background so I played around with the colors.  I ended up going black on purple.  I think the black makes me look thinner.  What do you think?  LOL

I know this can be hard to read so if you'd like me to send you an email of the entry without the black and purple just let me know.

But this newfound need to celebrate how far I've come inspired today's entry.

I did something yesterday I never would have done a year ago.  I found out that Journey is getting their star on the Walk of Fame on January 21, 2005.  This is a day before Steve Perry's birthday, so this makes me wonder if he's going to be there to share the honor.  He should be, because without Steve Perry Journey never would have catapaulted to the success it was able to enjoy in the early 80s. 

Remember what I said yesterday about winning that auction for that Tshirt, and my goal to have all the guys sign it.  I started to think of all the ways I could make a trip out there to LA to see them get their star and possibly get this Tshirt signed.

Naturally I'm not going to be 145lbs by January.  The way things have been going, I have no guarantees I'll be any smaller than where I'm at right now.  Considering I never wanted to meet Steve Perry until I was goal weight (it would have killed me if he treated me like a lot of men do - invisible or with disgust - after all the years I've spent obsessed with the man), but I figured things happen for a reason.  Since I don't believe in coincidences, what does this mean?

So I wrote Ellen Degeneres a letter.  She's got a great new daytime talk show and she's very fan friendly.  So fan friendly that she has a segment on her show, "Yes You Can!" where fans can write in their dreams and she'll do what she can to make them come true.

I decided that even though I'm not at goal weight, I've done something exceptional anyway and if she can make this happen, this is how and when it's supposed to happen.  I told her I had gone from 350 to 280 in a year, and size 34 to size 24 in a year,and that I recently purchased a Tshirt from my favorite rock group Journey to inspire me the rest of the way.  I told her that they were going to be in LA to get their star and I would love for her to book them on her show so they could sign the shirt and I could meet them (Steve Perry especially). 

I never would have done this a year ago.  This is directly related to my insistance on perfection.  But because I'm trying to break that unrealistic expectation and start living my affirmations instead of just saying it, I'm going to take a huge step in faith.  It's okay for me to be celebrated without having to make it all the way togoal weight.  I don't have to be perfect to be valued.  I am worthy just as I am. 

Of course I say that but the thought of meeting Steve Perry looking like I do makes me a bit nauseated.  I want to run out and go into debt to my ears to straighten my teeth, I want to exercise 12 hours a day to lose all my weight in 3 months.  It's taking a lot of self control to beat down the Chatterbox that tells me I have to look perfect in order to even go on a TV show.

All those things are ridiculous.  It took a great deal of bravery to put my photo on a public journal that goes out across the vast reaches of cyber space, but I did it.  And the result:  99.9% positive.  Only two people have made disparaging comments.  I can't even count how many people have been supportive, and how some people even continue to aspire ME by the brave steps they take because I did it first. 

Should Ellen call me and invite me on her show I'm going to go and I'm going to be proud of what I've done and who I am.  I may even dance.  I'm not 100% sold on that idea but, baby steps, ladies and gentlemen... baby steps.

I have to say just going on her show would be totally cool.  I love Ellen and I admire the way she was able to keep going to pursue her dreams.  I've been so excited that her show has received critical acclaim.  Best of all she does what she loves and there's just nothing in the world better than that.

I guess this huge step of faith and courage took it outta me because I woke up feeling flu-ish.  It's going around, my best friend had it, my son has been fighting it off and now it's trying to get a hold of me.  So I slept in and I'm trying to fend it off as best I can.  Today is a total rest day.  I have some work to do but nothing dire.  I'll be taking baby steps there too. 

A hot bath for the achies may be in order.  Nyquil take me away.

Tip of the Day:  AN OUNCE OF PREPARATION... Why did the dieter overeat at the dinnertable?  Because it was there. 

Never make more than what you should eat.  Learn serving sizes and commit to them.  If necessarily, serve up the food into individual plates before dinner rather than serving dinner family style on the table.  One of the biggest problems in our country isn't necessarily what we're eating, but how much.  From super sizing fast food orders to Big Gulps (a whopping 800 calories for a 64 oz soda), we consume much more than we need to.  So stop that overeater in its tracks, only prepare enough for your family to get exactly one serving.  You'll be surprised that you can be satisfied without being stuffed.

Daily Stats

Calories: 1961
Fat: 25%
Sat. Fat: 7%
Fiber: 29g
Calcium: 1406mg
Water: 72oz
Exercise: FREE DAY

DAILY AFFIRMATION: Every step in the right direction deserves celebration: it took courage to start and it takes stength to continue.  Value of self is evident through each step of the journey.